A Journey of becoming yourself

What does it mean to live in a society where your identity is always being questioned? For most people, living an ordinary life is something they take for granted. For this thirty year old woman it is something she has spent years fighting for. Through our conversation lies a story of self-discovery, emotional struggles and a healthcare system she feels has failed her.

Q: When did you first start reflecting on your gender identity?

A: I think those thoughts have existed before I could understand them. At 15 I had a girlfriend, and sometimes I felt that I wanted to be her, rather than just be with her. I suppressed those thoughts because living as a woman seemed impossible. In my mid-twenties, I began taking my identity seriously and realized I could live as myself. That realization was both a relief and frightening. Looking back, it hurts to see the years I spent hiding who I really was.

Q: What has been the most emotionally challenging part so far?

A: The hardest part was knowing who I was while my appearance did not reflect it. When I finally accepted that I was trans, the gap between how I saw myself and how others perceived me became very clear. I wanted to be seen as a woman, but I was still at the beginning of the physical process. It has also been painful to think about the time I lost by suppressing my feelings. Changes happen gradually and when you see yourself every day, it can be difficult to notice the progress.

Q: What has your experience with the Norwegian healthcare system been like?

A: Accessing gender affirming care through public healthcare systems is extremely difficult. Assessments, referrals, and long waiting lines can delay the treatment for years. It is frustrating when you already know what you need. I have largely managed my hormone treatments myself, and I have been concerned about getting safer medical follow up. I am also considering surgery abroad because access and timing matter. For me, it comes down to whether I can get the treatment I need when I need it. I believe these services should be more accessible and better tailored to individual needs.

Q: Norway has a reputation with a high degree of equality and acceptance. Do you think this reflects the reality for trans people?

A: There is a difference between tolerance and respect. Norway has legal protections, but that does not necessarily mean that trans people are guaranteed respect or safety in everyday life. I am concerned about the way trans people are portrayed in public debate and media. Outsiders’ opinions about our identities receive all the attention talking about our lived experiences. We are not included when our existence and healthcare are debated. Laws alone cannot eliminate discrimination or fear of violence. I wish our experience were given more weight in these conversations.

Q: Do you feel that trans people’s experiences are heard in politicians’ discussions?

A: Not enough. Problems related to access treatment and rights have been known for many years, but too little has changed. Political decisions directly affect our lives, but our experiences often seem overlooked. I have had to arrange and pay for all of my treatment myself, spending considerable money, with more costs ahead. For me this is not an abstract political debate: it affects both my health and my future.

Q: Do you experience support or pressure within the trans community?

A: Both. Trans people have different experiences, identities, and opinions including disagreements about recognition and treatment access. At the same time, there is always a very special understanding between people who have been through similar experiences. When another trans person is having a difficult day, I can often understand that it may be about discomfort with their body, insecurity, or fear of the future. That understanding create a community difficult to find elsewhere.

Q: What do you wish people understood better about being trans?

A: That being trans is not unnatural. We are part of human diversity and have existed for a long time. I wish more people would stop treating trans people as a new or strange phenomenon that constantly needs to be explained or defended.

Q: Looking ahead, what do you hope for yourself and for other trans people in Norway?

A: For me, I hope to reach a point where being trans no longer have to be the center of my life. I want to be to date, form close relationships, and live an ordinary life without constantly worrying about my body or other people’s reactions. For others, I hope that equal treatment and that everyone will have access to safe, high-quality healthcare. And Non-binary people also deserve legal recognition and healthcare. Above all, I want for trans people to live their lives without their identities constantly being turned into political issues. Having that freedom means a great deal to me.