One Exam After Another

In China, candidates sometimes call their first attempt at the graduate entrance exam their ‘first battle’. A retake is their ‘second battle’. For Carl, it was one battle after another.

The physics graduate from Hunan, a province in southern China, left a management programme in Shanghai after about two months to try again for a place in computing. On his fifth attempt, he cleared the written stage. In spring 2026, he scored zero on the coding test in Wuhan, a city in central China. By then, he was already sharing his setbacks on Douyin(Tiktok). I asked him what kept him going.

Since Carl was in China, the interview took place online.

Could you sum up your five attempts at the exam?

I studied physics and wanted to do a master’s in computing. I didn’t get in on my first three tries. After my fourth, I took a place on a management programme in Shanghai. I left about two months later and tried again. The fifth time, I passed the written exam but got stuck on the coding test.

When did you first decide to apply to graduate school?

On my first day at university in 2018, some parents told me that if I studied physics, I’d need to go to graduate school. I more or less made up my mind that day. Physics wasn’t my strong suit, so I wanted to switch subjects. In my third year, I met an older student who’d switched to computing. I thought, if he can do it, so can I.

What was in the first video you posted?

I showed my four exam admission slips on Douyin. I was really upset after my fourth attempt. The first three long questions were simple, and I’d got all three wrong. I hadn’t planned to start an account. When you’re preparing for that exam, when are you supposed to find the time?

What was it like to finally be a graduate student in Shanghai?

When we arrived, there was a list with everyone’s name on it. I found mine. I finally felt like I was part of something. I’d spent most of those years studying on my own. Now I went to class with other people. There were group chats to remind you about class, and if you were running late someone would tell you. I felt like people noticed whether I was there.

Why did you leave the programme?

I still wanted to study computing. I wasn’t sure a three-year management programme made sense for me. Leaving was a huge risk, and a lot of people told me to stay. I told a friend I hadn’t made the decision in a day. I’d made it over countless evenings of working through maths problems. The application deadline was coming up, and I finally made the call.

What happened in the coding test in Wuhan?

The format was different from what I’d practised. I thought I could work it out by testing my code. I spent two hours debugging my solutions to two problems, and neither worked. I think it would have taken me half an hour to learn the format if I’d known what to practise. I hadn’t told people which university I was applying to, so the people around me couldn’t help.

Can another attempt make up for the time you‘ve spent on these exams?

I can’t get those years back. I can only count them as experience. The usual route is to get into a top university, intern at a big tech company and then go into software. My age and the gap on my CV are real. It’ll be harder to get that kind of job now. I’ll have to take things one step at a time.

What does success mean to you now?

Getting to do what I set out to do. I still want a degree from a top university. I also want to be someone whose words carry weight, someone who can bring people together. In that sense, I think I’ve already got part of what I wanted. The degree is the part I’m still after.

Why did you choose the name Carl?

I started using it after my third attempt ended in failure. Carl in Shameless was dealt a bad hand and managed to turn it around. I liked that he didn’t worry about what people thought of him. After those exams I’d get guarded when relatives asked what I was doing or where I was applying. What I took from the show was that you don’t have to reach some milestone before you’re good enough to talk to people. You already are.

_{Carl in his daily life. （Photo courtesy of Carl）}