Don’t tell me how to dress

THAILAND — “You were raped because of the way you dressed; if not by this offender, you would have been abused by another,” a police officer reportedly told a 12-year-old victim.

Earlier this year, Thailand’s local authorities issued a warning for women “not to dress sexily” to avoid sexual harassment during Songkran (Thailand’s New year water festival). This was done to prevent cases of the growing number of sexual abuse reports of Thai women being groped or assaulted at the festival. However, they are denying the big truth that sexual harassment or assaults is never the woman’s fault. Instead of telling women what to wear, men should be told to respect women.

Women should freely be able to wear anything she wants, as long as it is not illegal.

Similar to many countries in Asia, Thailand is a conservative country where women are expected to be respectful, dress conservatively and be minor. Consequently, women who dress bordering the ‘wild’ or ‘ revealing’ side could easily be labeled as ‘easy’ or that she is ‘asking for it’. Thailand’s dominant patriarchy society also contributes to this problem, where men are given the mindset that they’re in power and control, allowing them to do anything while women are expected to not speak up. According to findings of a study by UN women on how sexual violence is handled in Thailand and Vietnam, only few women in Thailand report cases of sexual assault because it goes against the social and cultural values and 91% of them know who the attacker was.

Like many Asian women, I have always been told numerous times by my parents to not wear revealing clothes or to cover up. Furthermore, uniforms are still a common practice in high school and most universities in Thailand, where there are rules on the length of skirts or sometimes even how tight shirts should be, hence the conservative culture in Thailand. Reflecting back to home country, I recall the time when a classmate of mine were asked to leave class just because she was wearing a tank top, which is ridiculous when you consider the fact that Thailand is extremely hot and humid all year round.

According to a study by Sandra Shullman, Ph.d, a psychologist who specialises in harassment, rapists stated clothing as one of the reasons of their crimes but the victims were wearing wide variety of outfits from bikinis to snowsuits. When it comes to sex crimes, “clothing just doesn’t matter” said Shullman; thus, perhaps it is time we stop this cycle of victim blaming. 

We should stand for freedom. Women should have the freedom of wearing what makes her feel good in, whether it is a sexy low-cut dress or a loose comfy t shirt.

Presently, #DontTellMeHowToDress is a big and on-going campaign in Thailand, where many renowned Thai female icons are supporting the movement. Many women has also stood up and shared stories of their sexual harassments or assaults.

This is indeed a good start for Thailand in solving the problem of sexual harassment and assaults; therefore, we need to keep this momentum going by respecting others.

Respect is the most significant key in eradicating sexual harassment and asaults. We should respect both ourselves and others and never blame factors such as clothing for triggering such incidents. This is a global issue that affects everyone. If we want to be good members of a civilized society, we have to learn to respect others, including what they want to wear.