Already Out of Goodbyes

I really don’t know how I want to start this post, let alone what I’m going to say. I already said it in February, and I will say it again now… I’m not very good at goodbyes. In fact, I hate them, especially when I know they are not “see you later’s”, but real goodbyes. The bitter kind. The kind you know you’re going to remember because it means saying goodbye to a part of you that you’re very fond of. For me that’s what it means to say goodbye to this blog and everything it has brought me since I started sharing my ideas on it last November.

I want to be sure that when I share something it is because there is a valuable reason behind it that sustains it. I don’t want to share just to reveal and shake my intimacies, my thoughts and opinions and so on just for the sake of… doing it. I want everything to have a reason behind it and I’m a firm believer that everything posted here can have a positive impact, in a way. Every contribution counts. Every post, every word, every question that gets left up in the air. That’s something I’ve learned from writing and sharing my words with all of you.

This platform has given me a voice and has been the fuel I needed to get back to writing as I used to. Because I really enjoyed it. This blog has actually inspired me to start writing again, for myself and about anything. I have been inspired not only by what I have written myself, but also by what my colleagues have written. Everyone is a world of their own, from the art they represent to the choice, from the tone to the content… Each one of us has made a part of their own work through their own contributions, and I believe that we have learnt a lot from each other without having to shake hands.

Since I have been here in Germany, booking my seat on a train, a bus or buying a plane ticket made me immensely happy. Now, in the middle of July, the plane ticket I had to buy did not make me smile at all. My return ticket to Gran Canaria should have excited me, to say the least, since I will go back to my family and friends, I will (FINALLY) be able to bury my feet in the sand of my favorite beach and watch the sun go down behind the sea. But I would be lying if I said I wanted to go home. As much as I miss my little island, this city opened its arms in November to welcome me and now that it’s opening them to let me go, I don’t want to leave. 

I never wanted this day to come. Not just the day when I would write my last post, but the day when I would really realize that this experience is coming to an end. I don’t think I will ever feel again what I have felt here this year. I am not able to imagine my life anywhere else now, it will be very hard for me to start again from scratch in another place. But what I do know for sure is that, even though my Erasmus experience is slipping away, this is not the last time I will be in Munich. That’s for sure. 

I am very grateful that I was able to come here despite all the difficulties that the coronavirus brought and that I was able to enjoy every day in this city despite the health circumstances. I hope that by the time I return, the city will not have changed. I know my memories here won’t. 

Thank you, thank you, thank you. To all of you. For reading me, for letting me read you and for being there, even if it was from a distance. It has been a pleasure.

See you always / Wir sehen uns immer wieder / Hasta siempre,

Ale

The two hardest things to say in life is hello for the first time and goodbye for the last

Moira Rogers